Hey loves today’s post is going to be a little different.
Today I want to chat with you about insecurities. We as women go through so much, that sometimes it can be over bearing for us to deal with or we have no one or no where to vent.
So let’s chat. The past two weeks or even three weeks were the most challenging for me. Everything came tumbling down one after the other. They all came in series and I really was not getting a break or time to breathe. I thought to myself I am not going to survive this turmoil, its just too much.
I’m naturally a very anxious person not sure if its my nature or if I adapted this as an adult. I am always walking into every situation, I am always over-analyzing every detail of the million and one was how things could go wrong and how I could fail at even the smallest of tasks, reminding myself how insecure I really am on the inside. Yes, I do!
Today I literally realized what the “hell” as a child of God I am not supposed to feel this way or allow myself to feel this way. It’s funny how I can encourage everyone to stay strong, keep the faith, do not allow the devil to steal your joy and the list can go on and on. But when its me I can not even encourage myself. Are you that type of person? Is being insecure a normal part of life? That I am not sure of to be honest but what I know is that all of us as women experience insecurities on a day to day basis. We’re all just people living our lives everyday, making as many mistakes and bad choices.
I don’t judge people when they’re on a stage or in the spotlight, so why is it that when I have to be in the spotlight for something, I mentally freak out to the point of almost backing out?! Why am I so afraid that people are judging me?
The truth is I’m judging myself. I’m thinking of all the ways something could go wrong, instead of being my own biggest cheerleader.
Every time I’m faced with something new there I am standing in front of a hurdle a mile high with no hope of even attempting to jump over because in my mind I’ve already failed or embarrassed myself somehow. I literally envision myself fumbling over my words, falling on my face or hearing people laugh in the crowd.
Today, I’ve made the decision that this kind of mental sabotage has to stop.
I am a capable, grown woman. So why am I always so afraid? Afraid of rejection, afraid of failing, afraid of letting people down? Afraid of not being good enough? Always making myself feel uncomfortable because I am afraid of not getting it right. It all comes down to my own inner insecurities, I let it go, I give all of these feelings over to God and today I’m done with it, because guess what? Bad, embarrassing things happens and they’ll continue to happen. I’ve failed before, I’ve been rejected before, people have laughed before, and more important than letting anyone else down, I’m constantly letting myself down by not following through with things I love, out of fear and insecurity.
So forget all of these silly feelings I’m letting takeover my life at times, because I’m done with insecurity and you should too.
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!